Thursday, September 3, 2009

People Pleaser

How perfectly does this describe me? I can't even leave a blog comment because I'm afraid that people I don't know, or like, will be mad at me or disappointed in me. How invested am I in this vision I've created of myself? I see myself as a "Good Guy", so I mustn't give anyone any reason to deny that.

How many times have I given away the farm because I didn't want to "seem" a certain way, or "come across" a certain way? How ridiculous is that? What does it matter how I "seem"? So John Doe Esq thinks I'm overly aggressive or a jerk or a cocky bastard. So what? Do I genuinely care about his opinion?

What have I been doing? I know that Hinduism emphasizes just doing the right thing, because it's the right thing, and not because of what effect it will have. I know that is a huge source of anxiety-how will everyone react if I do action X? No, that's the way to madness. The question is only "is this the right thing", not "how will John feel about me doing the right thing". Frankly, if he is pissed about it, he can sod off.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Saturday, June 20, 2009

The Steel Remains-richard k morgan
Gardens of the moon-steven erikson
Robert jordan-wheel of time books 1

The iron dragons daughter